Ditch the drama and move beyond blame. Lean into loving better with a For Better Love Marriage Map. Catch this FREE Masterclass while you can.
REGISTER TODAY
It most certainly was NOT always so playful, peaceful or passionate. In many ways it was downright PAINFUL. We both shared a strong sense that something felt VERY RIGHT to be together, yet we were so different, we argued A LOT and our fights got embarrassing or ugly WAY too easily, and WAY too often. As hard as it is to admit, our relationship was SO shaky, that at our engagement party, one of our closest friends sat us down and said… "I don't think you should do this. It looks pretty messy to me from here."
It was supposed to be one of the happiest days of our lives, full of celebration and well wishes and yet there Raj and I were, getting cautioned by our friend to RECONSIDER! Why would he say that? Well, I’d say Raj and my relationship was volatile, but the upsets were WAY too predictable for that to be true. Raj and I were at the end of our rope. We were so close to throwing in the towel and completely calling it quits.
Our friend questioning our engagement was a huge WAKE UP call for us. Raj and I decided to use all that pain and frustration we were going through to learn about navigating conflict and what made relationships soar rather than sink. We did tons of research, did a ridiculous amount of reading, went to what seemed like one too many workshops, and had plenty of our own “learning opportunities” – until we figured it out! We discovered we had been doing everything SO WRONG. We had been dissecting our problems and complaints trying to figure it out and “fix it”. And it WASN’T working.
Yet we were determined to have an awesome marriage. Divorce or a dull default marriage sounded horrible, painful, like a slow death. We committed to taking action to get clear about exactly what we wanted, (as opposed to focusing on our complaints and all that we did NOT want) and what it would take to get there. We’ve come a LONG way since that humbling engagement party, and now friends and strangers want to know what the Secret Sauce is to our marriage. In fact, the whole reason Raj and I are even working in the relationship education world is because for years, people kept asking us to do it.
Joshua Home
New York Times
Nulla vitae elit libero, a pharetra augue.
New York Times
The 4 Cornerstones of For Better Love create a foundation to thrive in. Focus on these four areas and love works. It not only works, it rocks! Ignore them and you and your relationship will pay the price.
Bring PLAY to inspire your joy. Lean into love by engaging, exploring and lightening up a little. Having a playmate makes love and life delightful instead of dull.
Bring PEACE to deepen your partnership. Create habits for taming tensions and nixing negativity. Having your love life be a sanctuary is soothing and even healing.
Bring PASSION to evolve your intimacy. Whether it’s having inspiring goals together or sparking best-ever-sexy-time, embracing a path to passion is a perk.
Bring being PRO-ACTIVE to up-level everything. No matter if it is play, peace or passion, being proactive about your relationship is a powerful practice.
First date, no photo. It was a blind date and they both had to be convinced. Gaby FLEW to San Francisco for it too. They went to a Cirque de Soleil show with his company as a celebration for meeting their 90 day goals. Perfect foreshadowing of the 90 Day Games they would both lead later on in life - Gaby with couples and Raj with companies. (Thanks Kate)
Second date, first photo. This time Raj flew to Santa Barbara. Gaby's dad just happened to be in town and took this shot. (Thanks Dad)
This photo may look peaceful, but it wasn't always this peaceful between them. At their engagement party, Gaby and Raj were pulled aside by a friend who said, "I don't think you two should get married. It looks pretty messy to me from here." Ouch. That hurt. But it sparked an adventure for turning a messy relationship into a magnificent one. (Thanks Ibrahim)
Even on the day they got married, there were still questions. Gaby's dad asked her joking, not joking, "Hey, that door's open. Do you want to just get out of here?" Gaby & Raj WERE clear, but it was NOT clear to others that this would work out. Not by a long shot.
After being together for five years, people started to notice how good things were getting between them and soon, Gaby and Raj were asked to speak at a relationship summit. This is the first time they spoke together. (Thanks Bryan and Jennifer)
They brought together their super powers for love and created a map for them and other couples to follow. They shifted their relationship path from a "problem pathologizing" as adversaries one to one as allies where they pursue a playful, peaceful, passionate relationship. Aiming for awesome became their motto.
After years of people asking, Gaby & Raj finally started a company for couples. They asked people how what they did was different and people said it was fun and playful. And Relationship Fun & Games was born. (Thanks Ali)
Married for a decade, they renewed their vows honoring their love as well as Raj's Indian heritage. That's Gaby's dad officiating the ceremony! (Thanks Dad)
A friend wanted to introduce Gaby & Raj to some media outlets but said "I don't want to have to put lipstick on a pig." Ouch again! But they took the coaching and got to work and soon For Better Love was born. (Thanks Julia)
This is Gaby & Raj after dancing for five hours at the wedding of the very same friend who first cautioned them about how messy their relationship appeared. It's been 16 years now and they're just getting started. They've made Love Better their motto and are brining it to life daily!
They make a great team, but their solo game is gold too. Get to know about the man behind the woman and the woman behind the man.
While she has a Masters degree in Education, Counseling and Guidance and 25 years of coaching and teaching experience, it is Gaby Sundra’s own “messy-to-magical” marriage that allows her relationship guidance to be so spot on. Her innovative methods are fiercely forward focused, gently shifting any negativity into concrete action steps. She’s a wiz at supporting couples in not just digging themselves out of a relationship ditch, but cultivating a couple culture of "aiming for awesome".
Raj values intention, vision and continuous improvement. Known as the “Energizer Bunny of transformation”, his thirst for knowledge that truly matters, has led him from a Master’s Degree at Cornell University to decades of ongoing personal development to countless courses and workshops as well as a ridiculous amount of research in books and in life itself. He's an athlete in body, mind and spirit as he strives for ease, excellence and growth. He loves soccer, cycling and scaling companies.
My husband, as my best friend, lover, housemate, business partner (we run not one, but two companies together) and playmate in global community contribution, is my closest and most important relationship.So I’ve invested a lot of my life in learning just what makes an awesome relationship and what will doom you to a dull or default relationship. Because let’s be honest, when you relationship sucks, no matter what else is going great, then your life sucks. And when everything in your life seems to be falling apart, if your relationship is rock solid, then everything seems more manageable.With all the stressors of life and love, and knowing that stress is a killer, I’ve made it my mission to make sure that we have the best relationship possible and that we share what we have learned with others too!
Provides both focused and ambient illumination.
Designed for pendant and tabletop applications.
Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.
Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.
Provides both focused and ambient illumination.
Designed for pendant and tabletop applications.
Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.
Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.
I see this equation – LOVING MY LIFE = LOVING MY RELATIONSHIP.In some sense, my drive for having awesome relationships in my life – especially my marriage – is selfish. I do the work on my relationships so that I can love my life. Interestingly enough, my relationship with Gaby more and more helps me get out of a ME/MINE mindset and into a mindset of what supporting people in having great relationships can do for others out there in the world (she is much less selfish than I am in this regard!).She has helped me see that there is no greater gift to others than providing them access to having a fantastically great… a playful, peaceful, passionate, P3 Relationship. The more people that are loving their life – the happier we all are – which ultimately leads to an awesome happy human presence on the planet.
Provides both focused and ambient illumination.
Designed for pendant and tabletop applications.
Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.
Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.
Provides both focused and ambient illumination.
Designed for pendant and tabletop applications.
Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.
Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.
Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.
Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.
Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.
