BLOG: Take Risks & Be Bold

Stretching into new realms of your sexual relationship can be intimidating, awkward or just uncomfortable. But it’s sooooo worth it.

We’ve all heard the stories of couples that have been together for decades and they say the sex just keeps getting better and better. So we know it IS possible.

Is YOUR sex life getting better and better? What would it be like if it was?

We know it IS possible, but it certainly is not probable. Especially if you expect it to happen on autopilot.

So let’s do something about it. “Best Eva” sex is at stake!

Blow On The Embers. Get That First ROASTY and TOASTY

Creating variety, taking charge or spicing things up a bit sounds great. Still many couples for various reasons, default to the predictable, routine, stale sex that we are taught is just normal and to be expected after a while.

Don’t buy it! Your sex life CAN get better and better. However – it is up to YOU.

This is your official For Better Love's invitation to PLAY with your sex life. Lighten up. Let loose with laughter and lust. Explore with a sense of wonder, curiosity and adventure.

Sex doesn’t have to be so serious.

And your sex life does not have to be like the hot coal growing colder all the time.

Fan the flames. Blow on the embers. Get that fire roasty toasty.

We’ve all heard that “variety is the spice of life”, especially for men. So to spice it up, stoke the coals and get the fire really going, create some va-va-voom variety.

Do something you have NEVER done before together. Something that would totally surprise (and delight) him. Something that would really raise his eyebrows (amongst other body parts).

Maybe doing things you have never done before is more of a hurdle than you want it to be.

To step out of your comfort zone and even your own usual personality, you might try role playing and see yourself as a character in a play.

Pick an archetype or character or even just a mood to explore new depths of your own and your partners sexual expression.

You could wear a wig or a sexy disguise of some kind. You could create a fantasy scenario or just use another name for the evening.

One of my favorite “alternate personality” scenarios is to pretend to be a total stranger as Raj and I arrive separately to a bar. He sends me a drink through the bartender. I refuse it and send it back. He comes over anyway, introduces himself, flirts like hell and in 5 minutes we start kissing passionately. Eyebrows are raised. Good fun.

For Most Couples The Worst Thing. Is Being Embarrassed

If you are unsure of what your partner might think is a sexy stretch and what they might think is just way too off the wall for their taste, GET TALKING!

What’s the worst that can happen? For most couples the worst thing is being embarrassed. And yes, it may feel like the end of the world – still let’s face it, it’s not.

Think about all the embarrassing things you already have seen and know about each other. Is there really ANYTHING to be embarrassed about at this point?

Still, if you are too shy or embarrassed to say what you REALLY want, then try Mojo Upgrade.

It’s a website that has you fill out a private questionnaire about your fantasies and then shows you ONLY the matches of the fantasies you and your partner BOTH said yes to.

You can also just look at the Mojo Upgrade list of fantasies to tickle your own imagination without filling out a survey online. Or even better, look at the Mojo list together!

The real point here isn’t about WHAT to do about taking risks and being bold. It is about doing SOMETHING.

So what will YOU do?

1. Brainstorm a list of at least 10 ideas on how to take a risk and be bold in your sexual relationship. (Take a loot at MojoUpgrade for ideas for some encouragement).

2. Pick on and do it within 24 hrs. (Bonus challenge - do it within the next 24 minutes!)

3. Tell your partner you are stretching into taking risks and being bold in your sex life. Ask him what else on your list he would love to experience. Ask if he had anything else to add to the list. Take requests!

4.Pick three and schedule reminders into your calendar or other prompt system you prefer.

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NOTE: One of the most powerful risks you can take in you sex life with is not about DOING at all. It is about RECEIVING. Fully receiving your man, as he is and as he isn’t. Being more vulnerable and fully surrendering to your man is bold and risky in the most beautiful way. Wigs certainly can be fun, still nothing is as sweet to him as your trusting, longing, complete surrender.

Your Ally in Aiming for Awesome,For